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franecdotes fran crawford

December 18, 1996

The Territorial Dispatch

They come... like clockwork... 
   Regular... just before the night
Pieces of a huge black blanket...
   Helter-skelter in their flight
They come by thousands from...
   Wherever they spend their day
And by sun-up in the morning... 
 They've all gone away
They are spooky... noisy... dirty 
   Their droppings are a pity
You cannot help but wonder why
   They've  chosen Yuba City
Our busy parking lots are filled... 
   With trees (required by law)
Instead of parking space, a place
   For birds to come and "caw"
Just ask the city council, folks... 
   They should know quite well
They're the ones who pass the laws
   To make this big 'Crowtel'
All hail, the  environmentalist
  Who bring merchants to their knees
By sacrificing customer space... 
   Demanding ornamental trees
In those trees, in dark of night...
  (They never think to warn ya)...
Roost the noisy, 'protected' birds
        ...In 'Crowtel' California!!

Honest... I'm not against Mother Nature. I have always tried to use the 'Boy Scout Approach' to life... to leave things in the same, or in better condition than I find them. And I'm not a killer. I would never kill anything live, except if I needed to, in order to sustain my life.

The crows that plague Yuba City about this time annually may not threaten life... unless they start spreading some disease among residents. But they certainly do decrease the quality of it for those who must contend with their cars, parking lots, houses, trees, etc. being extensively bombed with ugly white splots.

The crows are protected by laws. For one, it's illegal to shoot them because it's against a law to discharge a firearm inside city limits. This is probably a good idea since cities have become so densely populated, and since learning the proper use of firearms by average citizens is highly discouraged.

Attempts to poison the the crows are stifled by animal rightists and environmentalists... who probably do not live in one of the distressed sections. But we must always protect 'endangered' species even to the detriment of human life.

It's happened before... life as a human being often takes a back seat so that some almost-extinct life form can exist another year or so. Never mind man (meaning all human beings as the word was used in the U.S. Constitution and the Bible before that) ... never mind man, let's protect the quality of life of the crow, the elderberry beetle, the fairy shrimp, garter snakes, owls and cougars!

Please. Are we saying that Mother Nature didn't forsee these problems... that nature is incapable of adapting to the change the world is experiencing?

Adaptability is key. Spotted owls adapt to other locations in situations where forest fires consume their original habitat. And cougars did not frequently attack humans until we 'protected' them to the point that they multiplied beyond their natural food supply.

I'm not really big on any kind of snake and I prefer my shrimp hanging on the side of a stemmed dish filled with horseradish and cocktail sauce. And I haven't even thought of elderberry wine or jam since my grandmother died. But I do like people. Especially the ones that aren't splotted with crow droppings!

I realize that the city government did not plan for the crows to spend their time in the parking lots... but they have created the laws that require merchants to give up great portions of precious parking places and install curbing and plants with the idea of beautification in mind. And the crows are creatures of nature here to enjoy that beautification.

Quotes of the Week:
Nature's laws affirm instead of prohibit. If you violate her laws, you are your own prosecuting attorney, judge, jury and hangman.
&emdash;Luther Burbank, American Horticulturist,1849-1926
Mercy to the guilty is cruelty to the innocent.
--Adam Smith

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